Be Kind To Yourself?

At some point in your life, usually after a setback of sorts, has anyone said to you “Just be kind to yourself”. Or you may say it to others in those situations. And why not, it’s a nice thing to say.

Or is it? 

It’s a lovely and caring thing to say, but is it useful? Is it really a good thing to always ‘be kind to yourself’?

I don’t believe it is.

Why? Because when we are ‘kind to ourselves’, we tend to seek out things or treats that actually in the long term do not benefit us in any way.

Imagine you are morbidly obese, so much so that you’re experiencing serious life limiting  health problems. Today you’re feeling very down, fed up with your life and situation. Do you really need to be kind to yourself? Do you need to go out and buy treats, chocolate or crisps perhaps, sit in your comfy chair and eat them all? 

Or you're in a job you really hate and are struggling with insomnia and anxiety. Is being kind to yourself and booking a relaxing spa day going to solve your problem in the long term? 

Is it not kinder to give yourself a jolly good talking to and work out how you can change your life to be more comfortable and healthy. Then get on and take action. That's being kind to yourself.

If you are the person giving the advice, is it really kind to give that advice? Would it not be kinder to step up, get firm perhaps, suggest that you help them deal with their problems or suggest someone who can. 

There is an expression - Being Cruel To Be Kind

We never need to be cruel, we do need to be truthful and helpful. To others and to ourselves. 

That’s kindness